Bandwidth

Sexy artwork by Will McConnell.

I know what you’re all thinking.  ‘Ian, we realise you’re an expert on film and we appreciate your infallible opinion on all things movie-related.’  Well thank you.  ‘But we’d love to hear what you think about other stuff too, so stop being so modest and start throwing your opinion on random shit out there too!’  Well, okay.  It’s true, I am somewhat of a renaissance man.  Sure, I see a lot of movies, hold down a part-time job in a chocolate shop and write an entertaining and informative article once every two weeks for Bandwidth, but I also find time in my life to listen to music, eat food and drink coffee.  So to give you a more well-rounded picture of who the real Ian is, I thought I’d mention a few of the things currently rocking my world.  And to make it (just barely) relevant to this site, all these things are based in Belfast, so you can all enjoy them too.

1. Harlem Café.

Harlem Café doesn’t need a plug from me.  It is already full to capacity every lunch time.  It is, however, my favourite haunt outside of, well, any kind of bar.  They make a dynamite cup of coffee and the food is awesome.  The walls are adorned with cool vintage photos of cool people like Johnny Cash, David Bowie, and The Beatles, and they play Sinatra.  As if it weren’t enough that I can have a double espresso and listen to Frank, the staff are all exceptionally friendly, and unnervingly beautiful.  Either you have to pass some sort of attractiveness test before they give you a job or they just run these people off some production line somewhere – either way I’m not complaining.  It has also come to my attention that they are soon to begin staying open late to offer an evening menu, which, if the lunch menu is anything to go by, is sure to be fantastic.  They’re also getting an alcohol license.  When that happens, my life will resemble an episode of Cheers.  Every day.

2. Eilis Phillips.

I’m not usually a fan of female singers.  Not that I don’t like the female voice, I’m just a sexist pig and don’t like the idea of women doing anything outside the confines of the kitchen or bedroom.  Sometimes I have to overlook my beliefs though, and this was one such case.  Maybe I just had too much sun and beer, but on a recent toasty Sunday afternoon I cooked myself like a goddamn lobster at Botanic gardens before retiring to The Kitchen Bar to cool off, just in time to catch an acoustic set by Jackie Rainey and Ms. Phillips.  They’re both great singers, and since I’d had a few, I decided to be that guy.  You know the one who goes up to the band after the set and bothers them for a while?  Yeah, that one.  Anyway they were both very nice to me and Eilis told me she’s releasing an album soon.  Later that night I told Will about her, in a vain attempt to impress both him, and her, with my savvy.  Will told me to get the fuck out of his house, claiming that 3.30am was not a reasonable time to be dropping by.

I was honestly impressed by Eilis, even though it’s not usually my sort of music, I think she’s going places.  Check her out at: http://www.myspace.com/eilisphillips and you can see her play with Jackie on Sundays at The Kitchen Bar.  Play music, I mean.  Go to one of her gigs.  Support local music.  Tell her I sent you.  Inflate my already considerable ego.

3. Bangla Fusion.

This is a (relatively) new Indian restaurant just off Shaftesbury Square on Great Victoria St.  I went there with a group of people who assured me it was ‘the best Indian food they’ve had in Belfast’.  I admit it, I had my doubts.  Halfway through my meal I agreed with them all – best Indian food I’ve had in Belfast.  It’s a small place and blends into the street a little too well to be easily noticed, which is probably one reason for its seeming lack of business.  Granted, I’m going by one visit, but it was a Saturday evening and we were the only table seated, which seemed like a damn shame.  It would be an even worse shame if they closed due to lack of business, since I fully intend to eat there again.  Service was great, the prices very reasonable, and the food was fucking exceptional.  They don’t have a license, so bring your own beer, enjoy the complimentary poppadoms with dip, then forget that muck you slather on your chips and get yourself a real curry.  You won’t be disappointed.  And if you are, don’t blame me – what am I, some sort of fucking food critic?

4. Women in sexy nurse outfits.

I’m such a fan of the nurse outfit that I recently got very drunk at a friend’s house and put one on, adding a white cowboy hat to complete the look.  If you’re wondering why I thought that seemed like a good idea at the time, the answer is the same reason I thought it would be a good idea to drink red wine, whiskey, beer and Jager on the same night.  Also, since I have now mentioned women in nurse’s outfits, Will is entirely justified in using a photo of one in the illustration for this article.

Related Posts

• Nuthin’ But A G-String The phone woke me up. ‘What?’  I answered. ‘Did I...
• Rednecks, Rhinos and Ruined Days Some people will tell you alcohol is no good.  They’ll...
• THIS IS NOT A MOVIE REVIEW: 500 Days Of Summer A new weekly.. er.. review from the “gifted” author of...
• Giving It Hell Artwork by Will McConnell Little known fact: my adventures are...
• Hairy Dogs In Manhattan Artwork by Will McConnell This was supposed to be a...